23rd January, 2024
Being a parent is a busy affair in any capacity, whether you are a mum, dad, stepparents, grandparents or foster parents. Let’s face it, having one child is enough to keep you on your toes, so what happens when you have a whole brood under your roof?
We spoke to some Capstone Foster Care mums to find out their secret to managing a household filled to the brim with life and love.
Midland’s foster carer, Marie, and her husband currently have four foster children as part of their family. With their own children grown and having flown the nest, they are also proud grandparents to no less than nine grandchildren. Life for them is always on the go, whether it’s hospital appointments for their youngest, after school clubs, or caring for their younger grandchildren, there is never a dull moment.
Marie had this to say,
But busyness is something which Marie thrives on, in fact, when her and her husband moved to a bigger house it was with a view to foster more children. Particularly sibling groups.
“When we first started fostering siblings, we had a group of three boys. Admittedly, we were nervous because that meant, at the time, having five children all together. But it was the best thing we ever did. Yes, it was lots of contact in those early days but in the end all three boys were adopted by a loving family. This was a great outcome as the oldest boy was eight, so that result wouldn’t have happened for him if it wasn’t for us taking them all together.”
These day’s Marie purely accommodates for sibling arrangements.
“We have the room, and because of that a family gets to stay together. These kids have been through so much, in the past, we’ve found they’ve missed their siblings more than anything else.”
But it’s not just the number of children keeping Marie busy. Their eldest foster daughter is now a British National Finalist in Ballroom and Latin dancing, which has Marie touring up and down the country with her while her husband holds the fort at home.
“She had such a natural talent, encouraging her and seeing her win trophies, well, it just fills me with so much pride.”
For Capstone foster carer, Sarah (who has been hailed tin foil queen by family members for taking a packed lunch wherever she goes) along with her husband, and three foster children the hustle and bustle all comes down to offering a wholesome and quality experience of life.
Sarah had this to say,
Indeed, one of the things that struck us most when we spoke to Sarah was her dedication to bring warmth and compassion to her family’s lives, appreciating the smaller things in life.
“We always love to get out of the house, keeping the children busy really is the key. But it doesn’t have to be huge things, trips to the park, free activities at the library, we’re members of the National Trust and we love it there. The children are so happy outdoors, so we visit their sites as much as we can, they play and get involved. We’re lucky that we have woods at the back of our house, so on a quiet weekend we’ll just go for a walk through there.”
With Sarah’s three foster children unrelated, it might be easy to assume that this would cause disruption to the household. However, the family very much move as a unit.
“Everyone gets involved, even with household tasks, we make it fun and they actually like feeling helpful. Sometimes the younger two bicker over things like cartoons, but they’re children, that’s how things should be. It’s nice to see them acting like siblings, but there are other moments where we see them being kind to one another and that’s lovely. We’re doing our jobs right.”
Foster mum’s Melissa and Vicki are no strangers to organising a bustling household, with three foster children, six dogs and a tortoise all living together in harmony in their four bedroomed bungalow. They have a Plan A, Plan B, and still might end up on Plan Z.
But support is a key factor for them, they said…
While the couple work well together, reading each other’s tells for when one needs a five-minute breather when things get a little hectic, a key motivator for them when it came to choosing a fostering agency was the support on offer.
“Ultimately, it’s why we landed on joining Capstone Foster Care. We researched extensively when we were making the decision to foster and Captone’s support offering seemed better than the rest. And we were so glad we did that. Total honesty, these children have been through trauma, it’s why they’re here, when you have a child with these additional needs having someone who will fight your corner is invaluable.”
These days Melissa and Vicki’s fostering family has settled into more of a routine with their eldest two having been part of the family for the last seven years.
“One of the rules we live by is, everyone gets a turn. Sunday is family film night, and we take it in turns to pick a film and all watch it together. We all have different tastes, but the children know their turn is coming so it teaches them to give and take. Or sometimes, our middle child will want to play a game instead – it’s his turn, so we’ll do just that. Everyone is happy. We do the same with food too, everyone gets to choose – it helps them to keep open minds too and try new things.”
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