3rd April, 2025
Autistic and neurodivergent children and young people face a unique set of challenges in their early years, but what happens when those children also face significant neglect and trauma in those vital developmental stages?
Children in foster care often experience learning delays due to their experiences and disrupted relationship with education, and for neurodiverse young people these impacts can be even further exacerbated. This can include speech delays, trouble with emotional regulation and inability to read social cues.
Here at Capstone, we understand the vital importance of supporting our foster carers so they may better understand and accommodate autistic children, with a special focus on those who’ve experienced neglect.
Here are some of our top strategies for supporting neurodiverse children in recognition of Autism Awareness Day…
Recognition. It may sound like a given but acknowledging the adverse effect that early childhood trauma or neglect can have on a young person’s development and the overlap that has with autism is the first step. Inconsistent parenting and unmet emotional needs can make it even more difficult for autistic children to form attachments. Therefore, it’s essential that our carers create a stable, nurturing environment where the children can learn to feel safe. Learning that a relationship is safe lays the foundation to forming an attachment.
Creative communication. Delays in speech are common for autistic children, and even more so for those who’ve been exposed to neglect. This delay can then be presented as frustration in the child. A creative approach to communication can go a long way to help the young person have their voice heard. Whether that’s learning sign language, use of pictures (this can be particularly useful in high pressure situations) or using visual aids.
By adapting our own style of communication to use non-verbal approaches can bring a huge sense of relief to a frustrated child.
Support with emotional regulation. With safety and strong communication, you’re well on your way to an emotionally regulated child. However, for children with autism there are a few other ways in which we can help manage their emotional responses. Creating predictable routines can alleviate anxiety, if a situation is going to be out of the ordinary then taking time to plan and set expectations is key to success.
As with all children, neurodiverse young people are led by the adults around them. Keeping your own approach calm and consistent will help for emotional regulation. For example, one of our foster carers will never shout in her household, even if it’s to shout that dinner’s ready. This is due to an understanding of the child’s past triggers.
Encourage play! A piece of feedback we’ve heard time and time again from our foster carers, which may surprise you, is that their foster children don’t know how to play. But when you break it down you begin to understand why that is. Children who’ve experienced abuse or trauma have often been living in survival mode, unable to relax and unable to enter a playful state. Through hard work and patience our carers have established safety, communication and a sense of emotional regulation and play, like most things, needs to be taught. Play is so crucial to a child’s development, it helps encourage a sense of self, to problem solve and also to interpret those all-important social cues.
Start small. Don’t drop them in the deep end by expecting them to know how to play. Engage your own inner child and play yourself, or allow them to watch their peers. With a bit of gentle encouragement and showing, their curiosity can win out. Or why not try a board game? They might respond well to the rules and structure.
When it comes to play and social skills, be gentle. This is the final stretch, seeing a child lose their inhibitions and truly play is a sign of healing and progress. Remember, when dealing with neurodivergent children, particularly those who’ve experienced trauma it’s on us, the adults to put aside age-based expectations and celebrate the wins and the child in front of us for what and who they are.
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