D's Story: Overcoming so much

In 2017, we’d already been fostering for 9 years and about 4 years ago we had wonderful boy, aged 6, placed with us. He was a scared little boy who was struggling to control his anger. He had no self-esteem or confidence and would lash out at everyone. He was the saddest little boy we had ever met, and it broke our hearts.

At school, he’d sit on his own at playtime and watch the other children playing with each other, unable to join in with them as he didn’t know how to. To get the attention of other children he would call them names or hit them, he had no social skills at all, and it was heart rending.

To help D settle into his new environment, we spent many nights sat in his room on the floor while he settled and tried to sleep. He is extremely hypervigilant and would think that someone was outside his bedroom window. We found a special teddy from Paw Patrol that we sat in his window every night to protect him from the outside. He suffered night frights and bedtimes where extremely difficult for him, we just took it in turns to stay close to him, either sat outside his room or inside if that was what he needed until sleep finally came to him.

We supported him through his worries of being abandoned and left alone, he stopped eating and was taken to hospital. We stayed by his side and held him tight and kept him close no matter how hard it became for him. We were there telling him we loved him telling him he was wanted and important. 

Every day, no matter what, we were there helping him through his experiences. We talked about the future together holidays, days out as a family, we listened to him and became attuned to his needs. 

At times we struggled to know what to do and would seek help and support from Capstone who became our rock of support, D’s needs where so complex we struggled to know what to do to help him through. The support and advise was always there and that kept us strong for D. I did a Therapeutic parenting course through CAMHS, which Capstone commissioned for me. I can honestly say it was amazing it gave me the skills to understand D’s complex needs and how to support him. We never looked back we just kept going forward.

Today in 2021, our little boy is happy, content and has bucket loads of self-esteem. He loves playing football, is fanatic about sports cars and, he has lots of friends. He’s turned in to a cheeky 11-year-old and is very popular in school.

I’ve told him that he is the smartest boy I had ever met and of course he agreed with me and then thanked me for saying he was smart. He has overcome so much and achieved so much in 4 years; he is a true inspiration to us all.

I never knew that it could be so amazing to be a foster carer, as hard as it gets and the heart ache and pain of seeing how your children struggle is sole destroying. The end result is one that fills you with pride. We feel that every day when we see how far our lad has come, he is funny, witty and extremely cheeky and we love him for who he is and has always been.

D & A, Foster Carers