When my husband and I began our fostering journey back in 2021, it was with the intention of fostering siblings. With two spare rooms, I knew that I wanted to help vulnerable children but also help keep their family together as much as possible.
These children have been through so much, they’ve lost everything. Then to lose your brothers and sisters on top of it all. I can’t even imagine how it would feel.
It was clear that we’d done the right thing as soon as our brother and sister foster children came to live with us. The sister was only one year old at the time and her brother was her fiercest protector. He didn’t want us to do anything for her and I quickly realised that at only seven years old, he’d taken on the role of a parent. He was used to being her primary care giver due to the neglect they’d experienced. Whilst it broke my heart to see, I knew I’d done the right thing. He would have been devastated if he’d been separated from her.
At the time, because she was so young, there was talk about her being put up for adoption. This was something I fought hard against. We were working on gaining the trust of this young boy, and whilst I knew that it wasn’t right for him to shoulder such responsibility, I couldn’t help but think that it would be the worst possible outcome for his wellbeing if his sister was taken away from him.
Luckily our supervising social worker agreed with my point of view and this didn’t happen.
Of course, keeping them together wasn’t our only challenge. It took a lot of patience and hard work for us to prove to him that his sister was safe with us and allow him to relinquish control. But the moment that did sink in, wow, seeing the weight fall from his shoulders is a feeling that will stay with me forever. He was allowed to be a child again. His sister was safe. He was safe.
Fast forward a few years and their relationship is more like a typical brother and sister dynamic, they play together and bicker together and, honestly, I love that for them. It’s how it should be.
I’m an ex-trampolining coach and watching this little boy who had the weight of the world on his shoulders pursue his passion in gymnastics is so incredible. I’m not sure if he’d be so happy and well-adjusted now if things had been different and he’d been separated from his baby sister. The effect would have been profound. I’m so proud to have been able to do that for him.
If you have a spare room and are thinking about fostering – do it! If you have more than one spare room, please, please, please specify that you want to foster siblings. Don’t get bogged down in perceptions and think that it’s harder to take on more than one child at a time. It has its challenges, but it’s not more difficult. What you’re doing is giving these children, who’ve already been through so much, a shred of normalcy. They still get to grow up with their brothers and sisters. I can’t begin to tell you how important that is.
Start the conversation today. Our team of friendly advisors are on hand to answer any foster care questions you may have. We can offer you honest and practical advice that can help you decide if becoming a foster carer is the right path for you.
