Our house has always been known as a refuge in our local village, but I guess you could say we started our fostering journey when our youngest was fourteen and he brought home a friend who needed a place to stay. This was all unofficial of course, then when our children had grown up and flown the nest, my wife and I found that we missed the companionship. Growing up in foster care myself, this was the route we went down which led us to Capstone Foster Care.
Now I’m surrounded by family, with five children, twenty-four grandchildren, two great grandchildren plus two lovely foster children.
Before I was a foster carer, my career had been in nursing. I’d been a nurse since 1981 and oversaw the post anaesthetic ward. It was a job I loved, and shares many similar traits to fostering, from being caring, patient and nonjudgmental. As a nurse you learn to look beyond the behaviour in front of you, that applies to working with foster children too. Foster children often come from traumatic experiences, so being able to see past that and recognise the potential they have underneath is so important.
Nursing taught me to be good in a crisis. I’m well practised at being able to separate myself from the chaos and not be drawn into it, in my experience I’ve found this helps to give my foster children an anchor. I’m their port in the storm.
To me, fostering is the best job in the world. I had to give up nursing when my wife passed, but giving up fostering was never an option in my mind. I love them and they love me. And I’m still caring for others, still improving lives. Only, by fostering that feedback is instant.
As a nurse, I was used to working in an emotionally charged profession but when you become a foster carer that becomes your 24/7 environment. My wife and I always worked as a team, especially when the children were getting settled with us. The children needed a lot of emotional stability from us, as they should, so it is vitally important to have support in place.
When my wife passed, Capstone stepped in and were so supportive. Making sure the children had the right support, but also myself – they’ve been with me through it all.
Fostering is a career, and it may be a 24/7 one, but the rewards are 24/7 too.
I am so proud.
For me, I see success in the mundane and the everyday. Those little things in my foster children that seem small from the outside but are actual humungous wins.
Seeing my foster son’s confidence grow fills me with an incredible amount of pride. Most parents hear their children say ‘No’ all the time, but for him, he would always say yes, even at a detriment to himself. He wanted to keep the peace, keep others happy even if it made him anxious and afraid. Hearing him have the courage to say no for the first time… I knew he was going to be okay. It was a sign he felt safe with me, that he could start to think about what he wanted.
Again, with my foster daughter, it was seeing her grow in that day-to-day stuff. Her claiming her own room. Because of her past, she couldn’t sleep through the night. But I remember the first morning that I had to go and wake her up because she’d slept so deep. It’s those small things which mean the most to me, those little signs that show the children feel safe now. It’s indescribable.
Swapping a nursing career to a fostering career (because fostering is a highly valued job), will be rewarding on a level you can’t imagine. Fostering is real. It’s a very real relationship. To see that child who has been through so much begin to fulfil their potential. It’s the biggest kick.
My foster son is going to take over the world! He’s an incredible entrepreneur, so talented and creative. He wants to be a DJ, so he started his own car washing business to raise money to buy the equipment and raised over £4000! And he’s doing it! He’s played gigs, even the Plymouth Argyle. All this at 15, his drive and ambition make me so proud.
It truly is a privilege to be part of their journey.
Ready to get started on your fostering journey? Call one of Capstone Foster Care's friendly team today on 0800 012 4004.
Start the conversation today. Our team of friendly advisors are on hand to answer any foster care questions you may have. We can offer you honest and practical advice that can help you decide if becoming a foster carer is the right path for you.
